I want you
I need you
I need you beside me
never leaving my side
forgetting work
forgetting school
letting the MUSIC be the only thing come between us.

Your texts keep the blood in my veins running strong
your photos you secretly send to me make me feel that I have something
NO ONE
else has.

The nights I spend with you
the hugs linger on me and I never want to wash the shirt we hugged in.
the late night chats that burn with fire
and the sex that could of lasted forever
with small kisses down my back
and your ripped up, brutal hands in between my feminine soft ones.
oh how it only seems like a dream,

OR A BEAUTIFUL NIGHTMARE.

I can't help but wonder what you think of me
the way my smile effects your mind
or even the way how my body fits perfectly with yours
like the last puzzle peace missing in my life.
but when your so far away
and can't make it to where I am.
the puzzle is scrambled
and YOUR the only one who can fix the pieces.

5 months and hundreds of hours and thousands of minutes and billions of seconds
never changed since I first laid eyes on you,
in the warm summer air
in the brisk moonlight
where hearts where stolen
and fire grew within my heart
like a battle...

that will keep being fought till the end of time.

I know you'll never read this,
your blue eyes will never trace the words on this page
your pink lips never mouth the words and the emotions that lie here.
we only have the memories of the past and (I hope) more in the future
where finally we can have the waves crash apon the shore
and we'll run away
not finding home anymore.

This is for you, I'm not saying who.
but I have a lucky guess, you'll know who.

This is what I think of when I look at you... <3

001. Real name →Claudia Kristina Filipsky
002. Nickname(s) → claud, cloudy, flipfull, flipper ect..
003. Zodiac Sign → Aquarius
004. Male or Female → female
005. Elementary → Welsworth jr school
006. Middle School → Holly crest middle school
007. High School → Michael Power st. Joseph's high school
008. Hair Color → blonde
009. Long or Short → shot...ish
010. Loud or Quiet- Loud
011. Sweats or Jeans → Jeans
012. Phone or Camera → Phone...it has a camera :P
013. Health Freak → No
014. Drink or Smoke? → No
015. Do you have a crush on someone? yes I do.
016. Eat or Drink → both :P
017. Piercings → ears and lip
018. Tattoos → sooon

HAVE YOU EVER?
019. Been in an airplane →Yes
020. Been in a relationship → two real ones
021. Been in a car accident → no
022. Been in a fist fight → thank gosh no!

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing →ears
024. First best friend → Fiona
025. First award → Trampoline?
026. First crush → Carson kressley :P
027. First operation → none
028. First big vacation → none

LASTS:
029. Last person you talked to → mommy
030. Last person you texted → Mike z
031. Last person you watched a movie with → anthony
032. Last food you ate → spaghetti with shrimp
033. Last movie you watched → twilight (or faglight as I call it)
034. Last song you listened to → candy-paolo nutini
035. Last thing you bought → rosedale shirt <3
036. Last person you hugged → mikky <3

FAVES:
037. Food → Lindor chocolates
038. Drinks → rootbeer or dr.pepper
039. Clothing → t-shirts or mini skirt
040. Flower → tiger lilly
041. Music → at the moment...fall for spring,rosedale, broken on site or lady gaga
042. Colors → pink, lime green, blue, orange,yellow
043. Movies → Comedy, romance, horror!
044. Subjects → English, music and drama

IN 2009...I

045. [X] kissed someone
046. [x] celebrated Halloween
047. [x] had my heart broken
048. [ ] went over the minutes/texts on my cell phone
049. [ ] someone questioned my sexual orientation
050. [ ] came out of the closet
051. [ ] got pregnant XD
052. [ ] had an abortion
053. [ ] did something I regretted
054. [x] broke a promise
055. [x] hid a secret
056. [x] pretended to be happy
057. [x] met some people who changed my life
058. [x] pretended to be sick
059. [ ] left the country
060. [x] tried something I normally wouldn't try and liked it
061. [x] cried over the silliest thing
062. [x] ran a mile
063. [x] went to the beach with my best friend
064. [x] got into an argument with my friends
065. [x] hated someone
066. [] stayed single the whole year

CURRENTLY:
067. Eating → nothing at the moment
068. Drinking → rootbeer
069. I'm about to → text back mike and put up my new photo board!
070. Listening to → speachless- lady gaga
071. Plans for today → drag ass home from musical, talk to people, clean room
072. Waiting for → broken on site showww <3

YOUR FUTURE:
073. Want kids? → nahh-little douche snozes
074. Want to get married? → yes
075. Careers in mind? → actress,model or comedian

WHICH IS BETTER WITH A GIRL/BOY?:
076. Lips or eyes → Eyes
077. Shorter or taller? → taller
078. Romantic or spontaneous → Spontaneous. but romantic is cuuute
079. Nice stomach or nice arms → stomach
080. Sensitive or loud → Both
081. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship. but hook-up at the moment
082. Trouble-maker or hesitant → trouble-maker ;)

HAVE YOU EVER:
083. Lost glasses/contacts → don't have them
084. Snuck out of your house → no
085. Held a gun/knife for self defense → No!
086. Killed somebody → no
087. Broken someone's heart → yeaa
088. Been arrested → No
089. Cried when someone died → no one has really died...but like...hamsters? :P

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
090. Yourself → yeah
091. Miracles → Yes
092. Love at first sight → Yes
093. Heaven → Yes
094. Santa Claus → HE'S REAL I TELL YOU!
095. Sex on the first date → LMAOO! really depends on the person. like, if your first date was 5 months after meeting them and you like them then yea!
096. Kiss on the first date → if i like the person a lot

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Yes
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? → yes, but a few slight glitches
099. Do you believe in God → Yes
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people → this is live journal...you can't. FAIL!


& that boy is a monster :/

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! YESTERDAY WAS AMAZING! So I went to a show at the opera house yesterday and a few days before I met a band called rosedale. SO I saw them yesterday and omg, nicest guys on the planet! So I first chilled with mike (more on him later) and he bought me one of there shirts and it's actually REALLY CUTE! It has see horses on it! then the rest of the guys came and I talked to them. I could of gone to a party after the show but it was one am when the show ended and I was soo sore and sleepy so me and chris just left when my mom came. BACK TO THE SHOW! So after rosedale played and chris was being a bummer since all he could randomly think of was his ex-girlfriend; I was sitting on the steps just chilling when mike cam up to me and sat really close to me and we chatted for a wile and he gave me his number and mainly we where just asking about each other even though we kinda had to yell at each other. but ommggg out hugs could of just lasted forever! So a little later on (during another acoustic song) he was standing all alone texting and I came up to him kinda cold asking him for his sweater and he was like "i was hot and then I got cold and I got icicles on my shirt!" and I was like awwww! and then we talked and he saw my neckless (it has my name on it) and he picked it up and read it and he said my name was pretty and that I was! So blushing; I was like " well there are better girls then me out there.." and he was like "well..we all like different things, and your pretty cute" So smiling like an idiot there I was.

Besides that I got hugs from all the guys in the band for weirdly long periods of time. the guitarist didn't want me to leave and gave me this pouty face and hugged me forever. I know chris still hates it when I talk to guys since he liked me and I bet you still dose but he needs to understand; I only like him as a friend and I could never see myself dating going out with someone like him. Well next week I'm seeing broken on site, FINALLY! gonna see graham. I think I'm finally gonna tell him I like him. I think he does but after a good 5 months of texting, and sexting and photos and late nights in cars by cineplex; it's time to get some words out. Right? Well I'm out. I have to research cow fishes since I might be getting one today and start my peer toutering project. BYEEE!! <3

<- I enjoy his yummyness!

Are you ready for some questions that you barely find in other surveys?
YESSS!!!

Do you lick your lips?
only when there dry and gross

How much money have you spent today?
like... $5 on food xD

What's something you really want right now?
graham in my bed cuddling with me <3

How do you feel about your hair right now?
needs fixing-DOING THAT TODAY!

What was the first thing you did this morning?
turn on the comuter

Are you going to be one hundred percent honest?
suuuure!!

If your girlfriend/ boyfriend broke up with you tonight, what would you do?
if it was my CRUSH i'd be suuuuuper sad :(

Are you going to be home tonight?
well besides getting my hair done then yea

Do you feel awkward when strangers say hi to you?
LMAO! sometimes

Do you hate being alone?
yeaa, sometimes

Has the opposite sex ever written you a poem?
LMAOOO
YESS!

What do you hear right now?
west coast fever- rosedale

Do you give out second chances too easily?
depends on the person and situation :P

If you died today would your life be complete?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night?
nahhhh

Is there anything you need to tell anyone?
MANY things to MANY people

Can you play pool?
yupp!

Last person you talked on the phone with?
one of my friends moms xD

Are you ticklish?
YESSS!!

Last time you cried?
a few weeks ago?!

Are you a jealous person?
not really :P

Everyone deserves a second chance, right?
as I said before, depends on who and why D:

Do you dislike it when people don't show emotion?
deffs. your not a robot-CRY! :D

How many windows are open on your computer?
4

Do you like ice cream?
YEEEEESSSSSSSSSS

How many pillows do you sleep with?
allot :D

Would you ever get your nipples pierced?
LMAOOOO WTFFF NO!


Who were you with last night?
AT THE LIIIGHTS SHOW WITH MY BUUDS! :D

Does anyone know your password besides you?
julia?

Do you want to see somebody right now?
defiantly

Would you rather sing or dance in front of 100,000 people?
BOTHH!

Ever licked someone's cheek?
I'm pretty positive I have!

How often do you talk on the phone?
I want to be able to more

Last person you were on the phone with for more than 20 minutes?
NATALIEEE <3

Where were you at 9 am this morning?
at school probably going to peer toutring

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
on the computer and getting ready

Would you rather name your child Michelle or Monica?
I have a child named monica..... xD

Do you like Red Bull?
tastes like piss.

Where did you get the pants your wearing?
urban behavior

Are you wearing something that belongs to someone else?
nooooooooooooooooooo

Would you rather be called babe or honey?
babe I guess

Are you upset with someone right now?
kinda :/

Have your friends ever randomly stopped by your house?
LMAOO SOMETIMES

Are you a mean person?
I can beee

What's something you do when your mad?
swear at people :P

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed?
couch

Do you know anyone named Matt?
use to a loooooooooooooooong time ago

Would you ever get a tattoo?
DEFFS

Do you wish you had more money?
YUPPPP

Is there someone you just CANNOT stand?
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Who was the last person you took a picture with?
cute guys in rose dale

Is anything bothering you?
yesyes

Do you have a best friend?
i have more than one best friend :D

What does your most recent text message say?
twitterrrrrrrrrr :P

Do you currently have a crush on someone? Or any feelings at all?
yessssss. I think he likes me and I like him :]
.
Could you forgive your bestfriend for sleeping with your bf/gf?
FAAAAAAACK NO! :O

What sport do you enjoy watching?
gymnastics is amusing!

What do you miss most about the past?
being able to get away with anything :P

Do you like country music?
some of it-weird how taylor swift just came on.... 0___o

So, in a relationship?
eh, nahhh. happy like that for a wile!

Now your cell phone, what color is it?
black but has a SPARKLIE CASEEEE :D :D :D

Last text? Who was it from?
Twitter.- didn't you ask this?

Do you use your speed dials?
yess I do! I'm lazy xD

What song are you listening to?
Fearless (acoustic)- Taylor Swift

Who were you last in a car with?
My mommy

What time did you get up this morning and why?
7:30 and school

What is the weather like?
COLD and dark :(

What was so special about today?
JULIA CAME OVERRERR! <3

What was the last thing you said to your mother?
byee mom! - going to school

Do you attend school dances?
yeaa! there pretty fuun!

When was the last time you cried?
stfu i already told you

Has anyone made you upset lately?
on monday but eh. :P

What are you looking forward to?
ROSE DALE AND BROKEN ON SITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! :D

Does anyone completely understand you?
only 3 people I believe

Ever stayed up all night on the phone?
close-it was 4 am

If you could move somewhere else, would you?
NEW YORK CITY OR LA! :D

Do you miss your past?
yesss i do!

Do you ever think "what if" about anything?
yeaa! sometimes you have too

Do you have a reason to smile right now?
YUP I DO!

Has anyone said they love you in the last week?
friends! :]

When was the last time you smiled?
just now :D

<- BWAHAHAHA! xD

I swear, two guys just kinda fucked me over. first, I was appose to hang with my ex david today, just as friends and he told me he gets off school at 12. so because my class ends at 12:30 I decided to just meet him at my place for about....1 ish. so then I walk home....hes not there...wait outside for a wile; still not there! So I thought that i'd wait for him inside my place, take off my uniform and so forth and still; no call. then I take a nap. maybe he'll be here when I wake up. NOPE! so then I try calling his cell and so forth, no one picks up. So moral of that he stood me up like a fool. At least it wasn't in public right? So david can defiantly go fuck himself as a friend...and as even said as a lover. SECOND; anthony was on msn, i asked him what was up and he said he was talking to his "cool friend" and she's just sooo cool and there meeting up for lunch on friday. and she's just "SOO COOL!" like; you tell me last night your putting me though tests and everything but you go date some other girl (common, if there are 2 million smiley faces after the sentence; you know it's not just a friend.)So pretty much last night was a fucking sham. The dinner, the movie, the "cuddling" and the sexual stuff. I honestly am pretty fucking sick of him! I thought he was cool, but after all the controlling moves and the pushing me away, starting to make me SICK! so to you my dove, go play around with your "cool friend" because maybe she'll enjoy the 5 mins of stimulation before it's all over. ;]

I hope they both burn in hell you know? I mean, I usually don't wish negativity on someone unless they hurt me or something, but standing me up and being so fucking two faced I can't even tell who you are anymore; MAKES ME SICK! Let me hope to the heavens that the 5th goes over smooth. I'm an official promoter of broken on site, as graham as said. so ya know, I'm not complaining there! Besides, now I can have a girls night out without being accused of fucking every guy in site. WOOOO!!!

Peace out hoes, I'm gonna clean my itunes; and my mind. :]

<- I look like shit, but mmm...he's so sexyyyy!!! ;D

So; as many people may know I have a collection of "husbands" really there just extremely hot guys but hey! I want to share the yummy goodness with you. So, *puts on master of ceremonies outfit* LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADIES AND GENTLEMAN! I PRESENT TO YOU THE HOTTEST GUYS YOU MAY EVER FEAST YOUR EYES APON! COME HOOT AND HOLLER AND HYPERVENTILATE OVER SOME OF THE MOST SWOON WORTHY EYES AND KILLER BODS FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT! SO BECOME QUITE SEREAN; A WISPER IS A...uhm...ya you get the point. TO THE GUYS!

hahaha! well well well live j! I AM BACK IN THE HIZ-OUSE! so let me tell you all the things that went on in the part wile! okay; had a boyfriend named anthony who is OBSESSED with vampires and is REALLY controlling; BUT! cheated on him with graham who came to pick me up in his dads nice car and had a romantic evening but then me and anthony got back together and then he got PISSED because I just called him an hour late when I was chilling with chris. BUT, anthony still likes me. so where "friends". me and graham should make babies soon and I'm going to see broken on site on the 5th and tell graham how I feel. It's been a good 4 to 5 months...is that enough time to tell your "soul mate" you love him? ME AND DLYAN ARE FRIENDS! even though he was pissed with all the calls and has a sea cow girlfriend who I sear on my life I will throw eggs and many other objects at when I meet her! WOOOOO! MET DAVE FROM NEW CITIES!!!!!! omg...he looks like pure sex! *droooools* made some new besies (a la SAM and NATALIE...but the cool sam not the far douche sea cow whore one) MY ENGLISH TEACHER SHOULD DIEEEEEE! I swear, she says I need to improve on reading but I am the only person to read out loud when we are reading our novel about some guy who gets brain surgery and can't fuck chicks because his mom whipped him when he had a boner...la de da da da! Oh ya i've been getting sick allot...bladder infections FTW!

what else you may ask? jack white from the white strips is sex, meeting more and more cool people as the days go on, semi was AWESOME, thank gosh no creepy guys, I have extensions and well...musical will slowly kill us all and the douche bags (hopefully) in it! THE END! I will be posting more and more soon as the free days come along! but for now...I am going to update the rest of my lj and get a new layout! WOOOO! TTYL <3


<- HI! in extensions and odd make up. :P