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07 February 2011 @ 12:12 am
I went to medieval times for my birthday with my closest friends. I've only been once and it was in the 4th grade, and I thought it would be fun to run around, yelling profanity and seeing if any of my friends (and myself) would fall in the pit were the horses are. anyways, so we were on the yellow team and our night was pretty cool, winning the games and giving most of my friends flowers and I got some sash thing that says "Queen of love and beauty" on it. So though out the show I noticed that our knight winked at me and a few of my friends, but we thought he was being friendly and forgot about it.

So the show ended and all the knights come out and you can take photos with them and such, and we did wile looking at the horses and stuff, and right as we were about to leave, our knight came up to me and told me to have a happy birthday, gave me a hug and told me to add him on facebook. So being a nice person, I took it, added him and hugged him back. Being all like "OMG COOL, KNIGHT FROM MEDIEVAL TIMES THINKS I'M COOLZ, LOLOL GOTTA ADD" I also thought the only reason why he added me was because I was cute. But once we added him (my friends and I) we found out he had a girlfriend and going steady, so I forgot about him thinking I was attractive and left it be.

Now, last night I get a message on facebook from him asking how my birthday was and such. the conversation went from good to fucking crazy when I found out he manily added me because he was looking down my top the whole time, and he wants to bang me. Ont of of that, he wants nudes...

It just shows that even a knight in shinning armour only wants yo' pussy and not you're heart.
Mood: deviousdevious
09 December 2010 @ 11:44 pm
2010: In The Beginning
Where did you go on New Years?: A bar
Who were you with?: LOL kristen bratty xD
Did you kiss anyone at midnight?: FOR THE FIRST TIME YES!
Did you make any resolutions?: A few, don't remember.

2010: Your Love Life
Did you break up with anyone?: me personally, no.
Did you get anything for Valentine's day?: some shitty flowers before a break up.
Did you meet anyone special?: ugh.
Did you fall in love?: no. fuck that shit.

2010: Friends and Enemies
Did you meet any new friends this year?: kind off :P
Did any of your friendships end?: LOL EVERYONE LEFT.
Did you dislike anyone?: everyone but like %5.
Did you make any new enemies?: two.
Did you resolve any fights?: yes, and I'm glad :)
Who was your closest friend?: julia,jenna, mik, kelly.
Who did you grow apart from?: about %90 of the people I use to hang out with.
Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?: meh, naaah.

2010: Your BIRTHDAY!
Did you have a cake? I ATE IT WITH MIKHAILA
What did you do for your birthday? manderin, movies with chris, family broke apart.
Did you have a party?: got canceled. ugh. stupid aunt.
Did you get any presents?: yeaah.
If so what was the best thing you got?: A piano?

2010: All about YOU
Did you change at all this year?: of course.
Did you dye your hair?: yea
Did you get your hair cut?: sadly ':/
Did you change your style?: a good amount, still working on it.
Were you in school?: GET ME OUT OF THERE PLEASE!
Did you get good grades?: so/so. :P
Did you have a job?: kind of...
Did you drive?: I'll never learn because no one will ever teach me :(
Did you own a car?: Too poor
Did anyone close to you give birth?: some mexican girl did. Is that close?
Did you move at all?: I wish.
Did you go on any vacations?: no :(
Did you leave the country at all?: no
Would you change anything about yourself now?: my location.

2010: Wrap Up.
Is 2010 a good year?: Besides a few moments, this year was fucking awful. Please end already.
Did 2010 bring any new insights?: It showed me that people are bitches and I will succeed in life
Do you think 2011 will top 2010?: if it doesn't, I'll strangle a puppy.
If you could relive any moment which would you choose?: all of the summer up to the middle of august.

I confess that in 2010 I...
() stayed single for the whole year
(x) made out in/on a car <3
( ) kissed in the snow
() celebrated Halloween
(x) kissed in the rain
(x) had your heart broken
() broke someone else's heart
(x) had a stalker
() mooned someone
(x) went over the minutes on your cell phone
(x) had a good relationship with someone
( ) someone questioned your sexual orientation
( ) came out of the closet
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) had an abortion
(x) had/have a relationship with someone you'll never forget
() done something you've regretted
(x) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under mistletoe

() took an honors/advanced class
(x) broke the dress code
(x) sent to the principles office for misbehavior
() got straight A's
() met one teacher you really like
(x) met one teacher you really hated
( ) failed a class
(x) skipped school
(x) did something you were proud of
(x) discovered a new talent
(x) proved yourself an idiot
(x) embarrassed yourself in front of the class
( ) fell in love with a teacher
() intentionally tripped someone at school
(x) got lead in the school play
() made a varsity team
(x) were involved in something you'll never forget

() painted a picture
(x) wrote a poem
() ran a mile
(x) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
() posted a blog on MySpace
(x) listened to music you couldn't stand
(x) went to a sleepover
() went camping
() threw a surprise party
(x) laughed till you cried
(x) laughed till you peed in your pants
() visited a foreign country
(x) cut in a line of waiting people
(x) told someone you were busy when you weren't
(x) partied to celebrate the new year
(x) cooked a disastrous meal
(x) lost something/someone important to you
(x) lied about how old you were
(x) prank called someone

In 2010 I...
[x] broke a promise
[x] fallen out of love
[x] lied
[x] went behind your parents back
[x] cried over a broken heart
[x] disappointed someone close
[x] hid a secret
[x] pretended to be happy
[x] kissed in the rain
[x] slept under the stars
[] kept your new years resolution
[x] forgot your new years resolution
[x] met someone who changed your life
[x] met one of your idols
[x] changed your outlook on life
[x] sat home all day doing nothing
[x] pretended to be sick
[] left the country
[] almost died
[x] given up something important to you
[x] lost something expensive
[x] learned something new about yourself
[x] tried something you normally wouldnt try and liked it
[x] made a change in your life
[x] found out who your true friends were
[] met great people
[x] stayed up til sunrise
[x] Cried over the silliest thing
[x] was never home on weekends
[] got into a car accident
[x] had friends who were drifting away from you
[] had someone close to you die
[x] had a high cell phone bill
[x] spent most of your money on food
[ ] had a fist fight
[] went to the beach with your best friend
[x] saw a celebrity
[x] gotten sick
[x] liked more than 5 people at the same time
[x] became closer with a lot of people

With 2010 Coming To an End, Do This and BE HONEST !

1. Have you had any relationships this year? A good one turned bad. ughh
2. Have you had your birthday yet? YESSSSSS! FINALLY! OMGOMGOM I'LL BE 18!!!
3. Kissed two people in the same night? of course.
4. Pulled an all nighter? yup
5. Puked at all? classy girls don't get sick at parties.
7 Went Camping? i wish :(
8. Bought something(s)? yeaah
9. Met someone special? meh.
10. Been out of the country? no
12. What are you thinking about? getting out of school, unicorns and sex.

1.) Hugged someone? yes
2.) Slept in someone elses bed? mmhmm
3.) Got a job? ughh
4.) Loaned out money to stupid bitches.
5.) Gotten in a car accident? no
6.) Gone over your mobile phone bill? You asked this about 4 times already.
7.) Been called a slut? ALL DAY EVERYDAY
8.) Done something you regret? never regret anything ;)

Ten Things About Your Love Life

01. Have you ever been in love this year?: only once
02. Do you believe in love?: starting to doubt it
03. Why did your LAST relationship fail? Cheated on him with the guy I actually like because the guy was really creepy and I wanted to get closer to the other guy.
04. This year have you ever been heartbroken? very much so
05. This year have you broken someone's heart: maybe?
06. This year have you ever fallen for your best friend? a guy who feels like a best friend
07. Have you loved someone but never told them? mmhmmm
08. Are you afraid of commitment? kind of


01. Have you drank alcohol this year? a little
02. Have you smoked this year? few puffs?
03. Have you done drugs this year? lmaooo shhh!
04. Have you been kicked out of a store this year? no
05. Have you shop lifted this year? no
06. This year have you gotten a detention? not really in high school!
07. Have you cheated on a test this year? no actually
08. Have you raced this year? no
09. This year have you broken the law? no
10. Have you lied to your parent(s) few times xD

Mood: boredbored
27 November 2010 @ 12:51 pm
1. What time did you get up this morning?
11:14 am

2. How do you like your steak?
medium rare.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
due date.

4. What is(are) your favorite TV show(s)?
weeds, sex and the city, destination truth, king of the hill, south park.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

6. What did you have for breakfast?
so far nothing, I'm gonna make lunch soon.

7. What is your favorite cuisine(s)?
asian or italian. mmm..

8. What foods do you dislike?
salad. EW.

9. Favorite Place to Eat?
Waay to many to name xD

10. Favorite dressing?
...don't like salad.

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive?

12. What are your favorite clothes?
Really anything in my closet.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
paris or somewhere down south? greece even.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
Refill<- (the person who did this before me put that...*face palm*) but half full. I'm optimistic.

15. Where would you want to retire?
uhm, I'm a little to young to answer this.

16. Favorite time of day?
afternoon to evening.

17. Where were you born?

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
gymnastic for the lulz.

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?
this is live journal...no one tags on lj!

20. Who will tag you back first?

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
no one reads this blog anyways, so no one :P

22. Bird watcher?

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Night owl.

24. Do you have any pets?
3 fish and the guy I like.

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
....I got a new dresser!

26. What did you want to be when you were little?
A bartender :P

27. What is your best childhood memory?
when I was able to ride my bike around the block and place hide and seek at night in the summer.

28. Are you a cat or dog person?

29. Are you married?
one day.

30. Always wear your seat belt?
yes, but when I'm in a rush I tend not too.

31. Been in a car accident?

32. Any pet peeves?
people who are so awkward, it's painful, and stupid people.

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
cheese, pineapple, mushrooms?

34. Favorite Flower?
I forgot what there called, but there colorful and they look like giant daises?

35. Favorite ice cream?
chocolate chip cookie dough or mint chocolate.

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
A&W? Not into fast food at the moment.

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test?
Haven't done it yet.

38. From whom did you get your last email?
My guess is plenty of fish.

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
forever 21. since then I could buy the whole store xD

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?
does making out to "who owns my heart" count? LOL!

41. Like your job?
yes. except for one girl who works there.

42. Broccoli?
with cheese please!

43. What was your favorite vacation?
Haven't gone on one yet!

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?

45. What are you listening to right now?
the tv, some infomercial.

46. What is your favorite color?
pink, green or blue.

47. How many tattoos do you have?
none, but one coming within the next month or two.

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?

49. What time did you finish this quiz?
12:48 pm

50. Coffee Drinker?
more like tea, bitch.

Mood: hungryhungry
22 October 2010 @ 01:07 am
I feel like changing my hair within the next few months (manily when it grows back. SHOULD I:

A) die it red like this;

B) Go back to my natural color, or brown;

OR C) stay blonde. Maybe go a different shade?

Mood: amusedamused
I realized that in life, you can never please anyone. Everyone in the world has a problem with everyone! Wether it's the hair on our heads, the freckles on our skin, the people we fall for or even the background we believe or come from. I JUST DON'T GET IT?! For example, I got a message on tumblr (I stooped low-not as awesome as LJ thought <3)saying some of the rudest and disrespectful things. Lets analyze shal we?

"I hope you know that I hate you. I've never had a single class with you"-well, I find hate to be a word that is thrown around allot now a days. People HATE each other out of nowhere even if they don't know each other. Personally, I only hate 2 people that I have met in my life time. I only HATE them, because they broke me down in ways that is hard to fix and made me re start a lot of my life over. But I usually don't use the word HATE; unless it's really needed. I feel we can DISLIKE-but not hate. Also the fact you have really never been in the same room as me and you hate me-is stupid.

"I've never so much as even had a conversation with you for more than six seconds. More or less because I avoid it."- As I said before, your judging me but you've never even got to know me? Thats a little but low to stoop too. Also the fact you called me a "fucking retard" is highly un called for. YES, I am bad at math and science. I'm not perfect. Not my strong place. I highly doubt your the shining light of perfection?

"You are no where near as pretty as you think you are. People only like you because they think you're a skank; is that really a good thing?"- Okay now, I already have low self esteem within myself, don;t need to remind me more. -.- But at least I know that there are people out there who like ME for ME and not just by what they hear between social peers. Sure, I have been with a few guys here and there. But that is none of your business now is it? I highly doubt people only like me for being sexual active. That would be quite boring because about %75 of teenagers are too. WHATEVER.

"know that you aren't going anywhere academically, and I know for a fact that you aren't talented enough to be able to support yourself through singing or acting or dancing. What the fuck are you doing with your life?"- Okay now, you hit a vein there. I work my ass off for my career and I despise when people put down my work in such an ugly format. I have been told by people I can succeed in this ugly world of fame. I take classes, I work in class and I even try to work my talent among my friends. I can understand I am not the best at anything I do. There are people who are always going to on top of people who say they are the best. I highly doubt your a talent scout or anywhere near the entertainment industry so you don't need to brutally pull apart my dreams. (I know I'm not the best dancer or singer, but acting is another story.) Unless your johnny depp or simon cowl-then i'll actually listen to you. Besides that; shut your FUCKING MOUTH.

"Can't you grow up and learn to accept that you are not better than anyone else?"- first off: I'll never grow up. I can grow up physically, get a job and face the world for myself. But i'll never grow up in spirit. second: as I said in half of this, I AM NOT BETTER THEN ANYONE. I'm good enough for myself and that's all that matters. I know people are better then me, I accept it. I'm not one of those people who don't do something that they are not the best at. Because it's fucking stupid.

Moral is; haters gonna' hate. all day. everyday. this is just a class one hater with nothing better to do. or facing struggles within themselves because there insecure and feed off the need of putting down others higher off then them. Just shows you can NEVER please anyone in this ugly world. But, we gotta suck it up sometimes and outshine the ugly. That's mainly why I'm here. :P

 yay lights!
Mood: curiouscurious
What I'm dancing to: Playing animal crossing!
17 September 2010 @ 12:28 pm
So; I'm sitting at my computer going on facebook a bit, twitter-the usual, and I come across people I use to be close to and well...I don't even know who they are anymore. Lets take chris for an example. He use to be my best guy friend. We use to spend the day downtown, the night relaxing and reflecting and we'd go home on the subway together laughing and sharing memories. We use to go to shows and meet people, talk about cute boys and girls and share mc donalds together. Now, I don't even know who he is anymore. Kicked out of his house, parting all the time and not even going to school. Sleeping in the eaton center bathroom and being on drugs. Now, because I give him a smidgen of advice, I get thrown out like yesterdays trash and people come up to me saying that "I'm a bitch" or "how can you hate? you don't know him!"

I PRETTY MUCH CREATED HIM....you can shut your whore mouth and suck on your damn pacifier.

Next is max. MAX; use to be this...charming, smart, intelligent MAN who use to walk with me downtown in a crisp white dress shirt, holding my hand and making me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. Who made up symphonies on the spot, use to hold me close on rainy days wile the soft beautiful music of folk singers drifted though the air and had the future ahead of him. Who made a better out of all the shit he was put though. I admired his spirit-wanting to strive at that level. But that MAN; is gone. Now he is a BOY, who parties all night, sleeps all day, destroys his temple with chemicals and lost his best friend. Yes, we use to fight and fight, from day to night. But it was only for the better. To slow down, calm down, breath. Yes I made mistakes that I wish I thought about to the full potential and could of came off with a better approach, but now, I don't think i'll ever see that MAN again, the BOY is here now. Lost. alone. probably not happy.

Then there are others, people I go to school with who I thought where "friends" but are now no more then social acquaintances. People who are so damn two faced and cold hearted that they'd go out of there way to ruin a persons life by making up false accusations. Does this really make you feel complete at the end of the day? What did almost ruining a friendship prove to you? Personally, I'll never know. But for the people out there who follow thought with plans like this; maybe they can tell me...

But moral of all this is: I have no idea who anyone is anymore. I feel like everyone is gone to a sad, dark places and have no source of light or waking up to follow them. They're losing friends, family, girlfriends, boyfriends and so forth. Living on the streets, homes built with no love or compassion, filthy sheets that use to be smeared with dreams and growing love. Now they just sit on your bed in anguish. People who drifted so far that you can't even see though them, from crystal clear to black.

...I hope a few people see this. Many will laugh, one or two will cry. But I said it. I miss and love ALL of you. But one of you, I love with the burning fire of a thousand suns.

"Even if we sparkle in the harsh spotlight, we are still broken"
Mood: blahblah
What I'm dancing to: Giving you up-Miley Cyrus
06 September 2010 @ 10:12 pm
Quick thought. Not much of a blog but more of a thought.....I think I should of spent my summer with graham and forgot all about max. It's been a year and where still talking. I almost went for him when I was with jesse and I think if I was still facing problems with max...I would of ended things with graham. Since graham has been there, and he's cute as hell and 80 times more talented and not a conceded douche bag....also not a raver. Because ravers are gross people-almost like the scum of the earth. Just sitting around...doing there "K" and there "MDMA" and sitting around like a bunch of dopes with no family or real friends to fall apon when danger hits and then the get so far into the "scene" there blind and hurt people in the process. Family, friends, lovers. It's sad how a label can ruin a persons life so quickly.

....At least with graham; even though it was all long distance and shows and sex, he liked me for me and didn't have to live behind a label since he was so insecure. He is who he is. Never had to worry about his personality and life washing down the drain because of a label. "Don't judge me. This is who I am and they are my real friends. There life and MINE is more IMPORTANT THEN YOURS." That is when you lost it. Gosh, I never like to wish such harsh things on people, but I hope you overdose so you can get a reality check and realize I was only trying to give the best. Tisk tisk.....

I don't even know who people are anymore...OH WELL! TIME TO START A NEW LIFE MOTHER FUCKERS.

Miley cyrus is kind of fucking beautiful!
Mood: jubilantjubilant
What I'm dancing to: Pants off dance off- Broken on site