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03 July 2017 @ 01:41 pm
Well, it's been an interesting past few days up in here! To start I finally got a chance to get away for a few days with my mom, she still sometimes get's on my nerves but at least I don't have to live under her roof anymore! Went to the beach and shit and didn't have to worry about work for a little bit, especially since I got the job at Forever 21! Full-time hours, benefits, work ends at 3 pm and close to home, and I still get to do social media and do shoots, it's extra income in my pocket so money should finally clear up for me!

However I do want to get something off my chest: on Canada day evening Wyatt and I were coming home from watching the fireworks and going to shoot a few off at the park in my old hood and we were just minding our own buisness and a group of guys came up to him and one punched him in the back of the head and ran away, giving him a monor concusion. I'm personally pretty shaken just due to the fact an area I use to clame as a safe haven is now tainted due to how the area is changing with the low income housing (I'm not saying all people who live there are bad, but a few spoiled eggs ruin the bunch) but it's making me question the place I live in all together. I can honestly say on the one day I should be proud to be a canadian I'm not. Canada is made to look like a place where people are kind and polite, help eachother and a good example of america but I have been proven time and time again that were not better than the USA. Toronto has racists who tell people working in a super market to go back to china, people yell homophobic slurs ar Wyatt when he walks down the street, people shooting, stabbing and hurting each other day in and day out and I don't know how much of this I can take, and the people who get ahead in this city are people who have their parents connections and money hand me down's that have been sheltered their entire life and ever have to work a real day. Who destory the area they live in with their hard partying and no respect for their fellow man. I can't take it! This has been buliding up in me probably since high school, but became more noticable when I moved into the city and have to walk the same streets as them, see "Toronto instagram infulencers" who cheat on their exams and through life become sucessful in any feild they step foot in, and the hard working and inovaters get casted to the side.

When Wyatt and I went to Californa and Las Vegas earlier this year we met some of the most warm, loving an inviting people we've ever met, people who invited our creative thinking and finally felt like we fit in somewhere, and hopefully I can make my dreams come true of leaving this trash fire of a city they call Toronto. I know this all sounds harsh and people may disagree, but I'm done.
Mood: cynicalcynical
What I'm dancing to: Winterbreak: Muna
27 June 2017 @ 03:32 pm

So I got lucky yesterday and got a call from forever 21 to come to an interview at the location close to home for the same position and boy do I feel lucky. I feel that maybe things are falling into place for once and I can have a bit more stability in my life. It's really unsettling when you have to constantly be switching jobs because you can't afford to live, have no room to grow or even be emotionally abused by your boss to the point that walking into work feels like a death march. One thing about me you should know is that I never give up no matter how hard things get, and I'm determined to make things work no matter what's been thrown at me, I didn't come from a family with money or connections and had to build up every experience and title that I hold to myself all on my own, sometimes I just never feel it's enough. I just hope that something stable in my life comes my way so I can have money to eat and not worry about if I have to take one day off when I'm sick. Cross your fingers for me folks!On the other hand, I was with one of my girls yesterday who I do a big styling project with and she's fallen into some hard times with her love and career life. Some day's I envy the freedom that she has compared to myself but it was really interesting hearing someone say they envy what I have (a stable relationship and possibly a full-time job). I'm not used to people saying that I have something they don't or people who see me as an inspiration or even take something that I've said into account! Maybe it's something I should get used too, and learn that we all want what we can't have sometimes. It's life I guess.

Old Miley is still goals tbh

Mood: determined
What I'm dancing to: Stop this train-John Mayer
26 June 2017 @ 11:14 am
So I technically posted that last post on Saturday but I have a lot to catch up on around here (What new groups to join? do people still post Jonas secrets? Where can I find new icons????). It's still crazy how Live Journal is still kicking around after all theses years, makes me feel a little old with the way the internet is changing day by day so I take it in strides and try to turn it into a career (social media that is, it's basically a backup plan if fashion doesn't work out.)

So this weekend I ended up going to NXNE thanks to a customer at work who I styled and had a blast (I currently work at a dress rental company) and it really was a pick me up having basically one of the worst weeks ever. You see, jobs for me haven't been easy. I re-read a lot of my old entries and saw how badly I wanted a job and to be independent and boy would I do anything to have that back again. I basically got demoted at my job and got my hours cut after the next following weeks so I can have a chance to find a job that's gonna support me, I've basically been on this rinse, wash, repeat cycle with jobs when I find one that seems alright, take it for 6 months, hate my life and have to find a new job all over again. It's honestly a mix of a few things, not enough hours, no benefits, not helping me move up in my career and sometimes even being emotionally abused (I'm looking at you TSOQ-all tea all shade). Also, the jobs that seem decent are going to mean I have to work early mornings and overnights and possibly quit because it's too demanding, I mean I like a challenge as much as the next person but when your mental health is at stake you gotta put that first over pay. It also doesn't help that Wyatt is going through the same thing, working a job that is doing shady stuff, not giving enough pay and not letting you prosper in your creative field. It's hard out there for a bitch lemme tell you!

So what does this mean for me? Well to basically get back up on the horse and keep going, hopefully, something comes along that will support me so I can save up and move to California, I'm really getting sick and tired of Toronto, it doesn't seem as accepting and wholesome as people make it seem to be, and our fashion scene is kind of trash in comparison. So cheers to finding a new job and keeping my spirits high!
Mood: optimisticoptimistic
What I'm dancing to: If U love me now-MUNA
26 June 2017 @ 09:18 am
So I think it's been about 6 years right? RIGHT??? Boy, do things change drastically in a little over 5 years so let's get down to basics, I'll start with relationships because that seems to be the main reason of my bitching on this blog. Basically after 3 god awful relationships starting with the last one I mentioned I took 2 years off to find myself and be single and really learn to love myself and accept both the positive and negative on myself, it's liberating when you're laying in bed at night and finally realize that not everyone in life is going to accept you and you'll have to make the most out of the opinion of others, so while that was happening I met a guy named Wyatt who I honestly had no interest in AT ALL-and I mean really, even with the tutoring and so much in common I just didn't want nothing to do with him, until I got back from Italy and started school again and gave him a chance ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Almost 3 years later and many up's and downs we live in a small apartment in the city and got ENGAGED while driving from California to Las Vegas this winter in the middle of the desert. He's not the most attractive but we have a ton on common and basically my best friend, and I can really be myself around him. TL;DR: just wait it out, you never know what will come along.
So for the work and school world: I graduated high school (thank god) and took some time to soul search for my job, I first thought that acting and modeling was going to be my thing and I actually went to school for it, hated it, got kicked out and cried a ton in this process (this was also the final boss battle of some of the worst years of my life a-la 2010-2012). With all that I decided to follow the ways of my 13-year-old celebrity crush and got into fashion to become a stylist! I went to school, got a diploma and a certificate and decided to start freelance styling around the end of 2015 and going strong. Now the job world isn's as easy and I thought it was going to be, I'm still trying to find that mix of creativity and being able to pay bills but it hasn't come (maybe). I'm currently in the process of possibly finding that balance within the next few weeks, so if I keep up the blogging I'll let whoever cares about this thin know. One thing I'll let you know is I never lost my drive to reach success, and I still want to be famous, but everything happens with love and time so meh.

So I guess you're wondering why I came back huh? Well I'm still going through a lot of changes in my life being a 24-year-old struggling stylist-I'm the textbook definition of Gucci on a WalMart budget, and I want to be able to talk about the things I'm going through in my 20's. It's a whole new chapter of my life being away from my hometown, trying to switch into adulthood,, following my dreams and I guess marriage????? (Who the hell knew I'd be saying that!) I'll also be recapping on things from the past to catch everyone up on the relationship with them in.

Well, I'm back I guess, so let's do this!
Mood: awakeawake
What I'm dancing to: Dreaming with a broken heart-John Mayer
09 January 2012 @ 06:35 pm
  • stupid people
  • stupid kids who hang out at the eaton center
  • 10 year olds who wear TNA pants
  • not getting paid
  • waiting 50 billioooooon years to hear if you can keep your job or not
  • winter
  • all the people who USE to my in my circle of friends who decided to stop talking to me because they're fake as SHHIIITTT. Y'all know who you are.
  • people who want to be socialites. IT'S NOT A REAL FUCKING JOB
  • people who abuse welfare,
  • people who are incompetent fucks who think they're fucking stephen hawking.
  • quoting every fucking song on the radio in your tweets
  • people abusing the word "love"
  • 12 year olds who diet.
  • bullies
  • my jeans dying my phone case blue
  • all ages club events
  • my mom being un happy
  • grandpa dying on christmas eve and half the people i'm friends with not giving a SHIT.
  • fake people? did I say that?
  • hypocrites
  • my room being so damn hot that I melt like the witch in the wizard of oz
  • Facebook
Oh yeah, I also have been in a relationship for almost 8 months and I decided to block Ethan out of my life. Kisses! <3
Mood: angryI'm going to punch a baby
04 June 2011 @ 08:39 pm
Alright, I wish I got to post in here more often, but thanks to work and a ton of other things, I haven't gotten the time. So I'm going to talk about the two things that are on my mind. :]

1) PROM: my prom was yesterday evening/ night, and since I don't have any brothers and/ or sisters, I didn't know what to expect. Our theme was a night in paris, let me just say it was NOT a night in paris. Really, prom is just a time for girls to out- do each other with dresses, dance for a few hours and get wasted afterwards. Their was no prom king or queen, no fancy decor, no romantic dances. It was really just people dressing up, eating the same food we eat each time we go to theses events and then everyone leaves around 11 to go get wasted/ high/ go do LSD (I highly doubt kids in the suburbs do LSD, maybe more in the downtown.) I personally had a pretty good time. I had a super poofy tutu dress and 6 inch heels, major killer in a good way, ;) and did a lot of dancing. But in the end, I wish prom was more. More to do with the theme, more dancing then just to today's pop/beats and maybe some kind of prom activity. If I had to rate last night, i'd give it a 6/10/

THINSPO BLOGS: MAKE ME SICK. Jesus christ! I hate seeing girls on tumblr making blogs who pretty much bitch about being "fat" and eating 100 cals a day. Who the fuck cares if you want a gap in between your legs, or hipbones or whatever, be happy with who you are. Guys will flock to you if you have confidence and grace. Even if you weigh 100000 pounds. If you can look hot, you'll be hot. I don't know, maybe I can't relate because i've been somewhat thin all my life, but it's not like I ever wanted to be thin for attention or for guys, or to "fit in". I just have a lifestyle that keeps me in shape. I drink water/ tea a lot, go for walks and go to the gym when I'm bored, and try not to eat anything that will turn me into paula deen. People really need to learn how to be happy with yourself. Who the fuck cares what people think, everyone; from super super fat, to super super thin, look pretty.

Now, I must leave, my pizza needs me.
Mood: boredbored
22 May 2011 @ 12:02 am
1. Had a beer.
2. Been drunk.
3. Touched a real gun.
4. Done drugs.
5. Wrote on a bathroom stall.
6. Read a George Orwell book.
7. Had sex.
8. Got into a fist fight.
9. Used Twitter.
10. Listened to Lady Gaga.
11. Been in a car accident.
12. Gotten suspended.
13. Gotten expelled.
14. Got a computer virus.
15. Had a hand-written diary.
16. Been allergic to something.
17. Had a dog.
18. Had a cat.
19. Been pregnant.
22. Camped out.
23. Swam in the Ocean
24. Wore a dress

25. Meet someone online in person.
26. Made a survey.
27. Used ICQ.

28. Failed a class for the year.
29. Repeated a grade.
30. Went to summer school.
31. Got the high honor roll.

32. Got the regular honor roll (A’s and B’s).

33. Learned to speak another language fluently.
34. Read an entire book.
35. Recorded my own music.
36. Had an xBox.
37. Listened to Rammstein.
38. Wore fishnets.
39. Bought skinny jeans.
40. Been in love.
41. Hated someone.
42. Been cheated on.
43. Cheated on someone.
45. Did something sexual with someone of the same sex.
46. Practiced Christianity.

47. Worn makeup.
48. Had a cavity.
49. Had surgery.
50. Had my license.
51. Been to college.
52. Graduated high school.
53. Attempted suicide.
54. Worn colored contacts.
55. Painted your nails black.
56. Broken someone’s heart.
57. Had my heart broken.
58. Cried for an hour straight.
59. Lost something very valuable.
61. Got separated from my parents as a kid.
62. Broken a bone.
63. Gotten stung by a bee.
64. Eaten something bad/expired.
65. Threw up from being so drunk.
66. Had to put a pet to sleep.
67. Participated in a swinger’s party.
68. Owned an iPod.
69. Owned an iPhone.
70. Fell for a best friend.
71. Stole a friend’s significant other.
72. Got a computer virus.
73. Went away from home for more than a week.
74. Moved out.
75. Ran away.

76. Teased my brother/sister.
77. Gotten into a fist fight.
78. Been to the hospital.
79. Had food poisoning.
80. Had a job.
81. Been fired
82. Lied to a friend.
83. Lied to a family member.
84. Lied to a significant other.
85. Posted a video on YouTube.
86. Started a rumor about someone.
87. Deliberately failed a test.
88. Dropped out of school.
89. Fallen down the stairs.
90. Been skinny dipping.
91. Counted to a million.
92. Counted to a thousand.
93. Ate deer meat.
94. Ate duck meat.
95. Had fast food.
96. Been to church.
97. Been to a synagogue.
98. Been married.
99. Had a divorce.
100. Broken a window.
Mood: annoyedalergies D: